Hunt for the Jabberwock
by Captain Cendol
Summary: Myles is obsessed with catching the Jabberwock, Mulch gets caught, and Foaly fails to hack into the system. So what is going on, exactly? Includes references to Carroll's 'Jabberwocky'


_Okay, how to explain this...I read the Jabberwocky poem by Lewis Carroll over the weekend and fell in love with it. And then I decided to write a fic based on it, of all things! *glares at plot bunny* Since most of my stories in the 'Afterwards' series had more of Beckett involved, I decided to make this one about Myles._

_One thing though, before you begin - you might need to read the Jabberwocky poem before you read this, as I included many references to the poem but did not go too much into explanation. You can go to the __Wikipedia article on Jabberwocky for a pretty detailed analysis of the poem._

_Do pardon me for the fluffiness, hee._

**Disclaimer: **Artemis Fowl and everyone else in here belongs to Eoin Colfer. The Jabberwocky poem belongs to Lewis Carroll. I own nothing!

* * *

Hunt for the Jabberwock

The Jabberwocky was the most wonderful poem that Myles Fowl had ever read in his life.

It was also the first poem he had ever read in his first full-length book, which was Lewis Carroll's _Through the Looking-Glass_.

The boy was convinced that Carroll was a genius. He was also convinced that the Jabberwock could be found, and that he, Myles Fowl, would be _the_ one to slay it with the vorpal sword.

He was further convinced that the other creatures mentioned in the poem – the tove, the borogrove, the Bandersnatch and the rest – were real. It did not matter that he had looked up the names in the huge dictionary in the study and had not found them; Myles knew it was only a matter of time before he discovered these creatures and proved that they were real.

And so Myles – as his brother had done before him – set out to find imaginary creatures and capture them.

He went about his plan with great cunning. He first left a mouse-trap with cheese near the sundial in the grounds, presumably to capture the slithy tove. The gardener found a dead mouse and the trap the next day instead. But Myles wasn't going to give up yet – oh no, not he! He would persevere till a tove was found. So he set up another trap near the sundial, this time with a huge wedge of cheese he had stolen from the kitchen, and sat hidden in a bush at 4 in the afternoon. Nothing appeared, but he left the trap overnight just in case.

The next morning, the gardener called in to say that he would not be able to come to the Manor for a few days due to a sprained ankle – and would someone please stop leaving traps all over the damn place?

That put an end to the capture of a tove for the time being. Myles wisely switched his plans to capture a borogrove next.

Butler found the boy attacking a mop the next day and had to explain to a distraught Myles that mops did _not_ come alive when people were not watching. And _yes_, the mop was not miserable – or mimsy – for being left alone among the brooms in the broom closet.

So that was the end of the hunt for the borogrove. Myles decided to look for a rath next.

'Artemis,' he said to his elder brother, 'do pigs turn green?'

There was a pause, during which Artemis stared at Myles in what could only be called flabbergasted amusement.

'No, Myles,' he said, 'unless they have been genetically modified.' He stared at Myles for a while longer, then ventured to ask, 'Do you need me to explain the process to you?'

'No, thank you,' said Myles. So there were no green pigs. Then again, Artemis could be a simple-toon sometimes. There was no need to give up the hunt yet – oh no, he would not!

The next creature mentioned in the poem was the Jabberwock. Myles set out to find the creature with renewed determination. In the meantime, he needed to find a vorpal sword to slay it. There were bribes and persuasion to be done, preferably those involving an unsuspecting Butler.

* * *

'Hey Mulch,' said Foaly, 'you busy?'

'Kinda.' The dwarf grinned and crunched on a carrot. It was a slow day at the PI firm and the bit of investigation needed to be done was being taken care of by Doodah Day. A dwarf needed a break sometimes, and Mulch was damned if he didn't take this opportunity to sit around doing nothing and do some serious damage to his carrot supply.

'Yeah yeah.' Foaly rolled his eyes. 'Look, I need you to do something for me. A short, simple job.'

'Right, what's the catch?'

'Breaking into Fowl Manor.'

Mulch chortled, spitting bits of carrot. 'Yeah – but _what's the catch_? And what's up? I thought we're buddies with the Mud Boy?'

'Oh, just a little something something.' Foaly twiddled a length of loaded fibre optics between his fingers. 'Remember that job you did with Doodah on the Paradizo girl's place?'

'You mean the one where you hacked into the closed-circuit system and sent them phantom guided missiles?'

'Yes, that one.' Foaly snickered. 'See, Artemis completely revamped the whole system at Fowl Manor – caught me unawares he did. Now I need to hack into the system again, but I need direct contact. Loaded fibre optics would do the job nicely.'

'And I care because…?'

'Because I'll be off-loading old LEP equipment to you next week. I'll be doing a favour for you, Mulch.'

'What kind of equipment?' asked Mulch. Now the centaur was talking his language.

'Oh, nothing much,' Foaly replied airily. 'Just some organic trackers, omnisensor buttons and the recently upgraded throat mikes. Oh, and iris cams.'

'Did you say iris cams?' The firm could do with a few iris cams; communication between the dwarf and pixie had proven tricky occasionally.

'So, d'you want them, Mulch?'

'You're tempting me, pony.' How hard could it be break into Fowl Manor? He had done it once before.

'Come and get it, you reprobate,' Foaly laughed. 'Meet me at Police Plaza.'

* * *

He was ready.

Myles crouched in a hole in the bushes, his gaze fixed on the ground beneath the shrubbery bordering the drive. The trap was set and the cheese was waiting. Beckett's plastic spade waited on the ground beside him; the vorpal sword had been a bit difficult to find, but Beckett had assured him that the spade would do just fine.

'Where Jabberwock?' whispered Beckett from the next bush.

'Shh, Beckett.' Myles held a finger to his lips and shook his head. 'Don't make noise.'

Beckett nodded gravely, his hand clutching the handle of his favourite plastic bucket. Myles was right – noise would scare the Jabberwock away. Beckett could hardly wait to see this mysterious creature for himself.

They waited, scarcely making a noise. The gardener walked past, whistling, his ankle healed from the trap, before disappearing round the corner of the Manor.

A patch of ground began to vibrate, as though there were a disturbance from below. Myles gripped the spade and nodded to his twin.

There was a pause – then a strange _thing_ erupted from beneath the ground.

Both twins leapt at it without hesitation, knocking it over at once. Myles sat on the thing's chest and grabbed at the wild mop of hair sprouting from the creature's face; Beckett banged the bucket against its head, all the while screaming with excitement.

'Stop!' Myles yelled, whacking the creature's head with the spade. Beckett continued shrieking things like 'Funny man!' and 'Stinky man!' in turn.

'Are you,' said Myles, yanking at the creature's beard, 'a tove, a borogrove, or a Jabberwock?'

The creature opened its already large mouth further, its legs and arms scrabbling beneath it to get up. Beckett crammed the bucket into the cavernous mouth.

'I said,' said Myles imperiously, 'are you a tove, a borogrove, a rath – or are you in fact the Jabberwock?'

'Arkkk,' came the strangled reply.

'Funny fairy,' Beckett said, giggling.

'Hello, Mulch,' said a voice behind him.

All three turned to look at the figure looming over them.

'_So_ glad you came to visit,' said Artemis. 'I do apologize for my brothers' manners.'

Mulch took opportunity of the distraction to sit up, pushing Myles off his chest as he did so. He spat out the bucket in disgust and glared at Beckett, who giggled again and whacked Mulch's head ineffectually with the spade.

'These your brothers?' said Mulch, getting to his feet. 'I see the family resemblance.'

'Are you,' said Myles again, nearly out of his mind with curiosity, 'a tove?'

'Are you,' he said, pulling at Mulch's unkempt hair, 'a borogrove?'

'Are you,' said he, plucking at Mulch's stained green shirt, 'a rath?'

'Are you,' said the boy, staring at Mulch's large teeth, 'the Jabberwock?'

'No, Myles,' said Artemis. He raised an enquiring eyebrow at Mulch. 'What is it this time, Mulch?'

'Foaly.' The dwarf grimaced and took out the length of fibre optics the centaur had given him. 'Sent me to hack into your closed-circuit system. What is wrong with you people?'

'Just the old esprit de corps,' Artemis said, smiling his vampire smile. 'Come on. We'll show Foaly how things are done here, shall we?'

The four of them headed up to the study, dodging Butler and the other servants on the way. Artemis locked the door, disconnected the single computer in the room from the rest of the network and twisted the length of fibre optics around a cable in the hard drive.

The computer began to run through the files stored on it on its own. Artemis sighed and typed a few commands into the computer. The single projector in the room switched itself on; Foaly's face flickered into sight on the projection screen.

'Hello, Foaly,' said Artemis, grinning at the web-cam. 'Having fun?'

Foaly whinnied in dismay. 'Mulch sold me out, didn't he?'

'Not really. You have to thank the twins for that.'

Myles was staring at the centaur's face in fascination. 'Centaur,' he breathed. And Artemis had told him that centaurs did not exist!

'Your brothers?' Foaly scowled and shook his head. 'What example are you setting for them, Artemis?'

'Merely a good one. But first – we have a situation here, Foaly. The twins were not supposed to know about you fairies.'

Foaly scratched an ear, sighing. 'So they weren't.'

'And it's your entire fault too.'

'Yes, I _do_ know that, Artemis. Now can you please shut up while I think?'

'How about a mind-wipe? A block wipe would do the trick,' suggested Artemis.

'Playing nice now, Mud Boy?'

'I didn't say I'd be nice in the future,' said Artemis, winking.

'Oh I _see_ – you're talking blackmail and extortion. You never change, do you, Fowl?'

'I try.'

'Sheesh.' Foaly tapped a few keys, calling someone up on the line. Holly's surprised face came into view in a new window beside Foaly's.

'What have you done this time, Artemis?' were the first words out of the elf's mouth.

'Not me, Holly. It's Foaly's fault this time.'

'Don't play the victim, Artemis, it doesn't suit you.' Holly rolled her eyes in disbelief and said, 'So what happened?'

'Foaly asked Mulch to break into Fowl Manor to hack into my system,' replied Artemis. 'Except that my brothers caught Mulch before he could do anything.'

'Yeah,' said the dwarf, snorting, 'it's the donkey's fault _this_ time.'

'Why do you want to hack into my system, Foaly?' asked Artemis, seemingly disturbed by the thought.

'You hack mine, I hack yours,' said Foaly, wagging his finger playfully. 'All's fair in love and war.'

'Really, Foaly, I doubt Caballine would want to share you with me,' said Artemis, smirking.

'Pining for me in secret, Mud Boy?' countered Foaly, pretending to leer at the teenager.

'Hey hey,' Holly interrupted, 'get a room, you two. So what am I doing here?'

'Er…Holly.' Foaly grinned sheepishly. 'Artemis's brothers weren't supposed to know about us.'

Holly's expression changed as the realization hit her. 'And I'm going to clean up this mess, am I?'

'You could say that.'

Holly made strangling motions in her screen. 'I'm going to kill you when I get back, centaur.'

'Sorry, Holly.'

'You'd better be, or your hooves won't be safe anymore. Okay, I'll be right there with my field kit. Keep your brothers with you, Artemis,' she said. 'Are your parents at home?'

'No, they're away for the day, but they'll be back by six,' said Artemis.

'D'Arvit! It's 5.15 already. I'll be right there. Stay where you are.' Holly's window went blank as she ended the call.

* * *

'These are your brothers?' Holly asked half an hour later.

The twins stared at the elf, their eyes wide. First the dwarf had turned up, and then the centaur…now this elf. The twins knew that Artemis was deranged in some ways – but now their brother also had imaginary people as friends? That took the cake; that really did.

'Myles, and this is Beckett,' said Artemis, gesturing to each twin.

Beckett smiled at the elf. 'Pretty fairy,' he said.

Holly cracked a grin and pinched the boy's cheek. 'Will you listen to him? He has more charm than you ever did, Arty.'

'We have to mind-wipe them soon, Holly,' Artemis responded coolly. 'Now if you will proceed?'

'Don't order me, Fowl. All right, time to wipe these twins.'

Myles stared at the equipment Holly was unpacking from her kit. 'Does this mean that the Jabberwock is real, Artemis?' he asked.

Artemis hesitated before he replied, 'It may be, Myles.'

He met Holly's narrowed eyes briefly before he looked away.

'Now Myles, Beckett, _go to sleep_,' said Holly gently, her voice laced with the _mesmer_.

The twins yawned, their eyelids drooping with sleep. Holly stepped forward with the metal plates in each hand.

* * *

'What was that all about?' muttered Holly as Artemis escorted her and Mulch to the gates of Fowl Manor. (Butler, thankfully, still did not know; he had been having a short kip during all the excitement.)

'What?' asked Artemis, temporarily caught off-guard.

'The Jabberwock? And the twins catching Mulch? How did they know he would be coming here?'

'Oh – Myles wants to catch the Jabberwock; it's an imaginary creature in a poem for children. He's been setting traps to capture it, and I suppose today just happened to be Mulch's unlucky day,' explained Artemis, chuckling.

'You Fowls,' said Holly wryly. 'Can't you just leave imaginary creatures alone and not kidnap them for fun?'

'Are you still angry with me, Holly?'

She shrugged as she followed Mulch through the gates. 'I'm not, Arty. I'm not one to hold grudges against friends.'

'I was just thinking…'

Artemis felt something hard jammed into his stomach as he and Holly came to a stop. He looked down in bemusement to find that Holly had her Neutrino out and was pressing the barrel of the gun against his shirt, her finger on the trigger.

'Your elf-kissing days are over, didn't I tell you that?' she said, grinning mischievously. 'Over is over, Arty.'

'Careful,' he said, grinning back at her. 'You could kill me accidentally.'

Holly took the Neutrino away, laughing. 'It would be my pleasure. The Neutrino is on the lowest setting – it won't kill you. Stun you, more like.'

'Are you coming or what?' said Mulch, frowning at the pair.

'Coming, Mulch.' Holly turned back to pinch the boy's elbow. 'See you, Artemis.'

'See you.' He waved goodbye to the two fairies before they shimmered out of sight, and then he headed back to the Manor.

'How was your day, Arty?' asked Angeline at dinner.

'It was…' Artemis searched for the right word to describe the events of the day without giving away too much. 'Frabjous,' he finished.

'Did the twins misbehave?' said his mother.

'I killed the Jabberwock,' Myles said with evident satisfaction.

Beckett nodded in agreement. 'Beckett helped. And fairies.'

* * *

**A/N:** So, so, how was it? This was unbeta-ed...so, eh, your reviews and comments will be very much welcomed! :)


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